2/23/23 i miss who we were we've known each other so long that we're practically strangers again and i've tried to understand the way you love me but i'm not fluent and it's too hard to learn i've done a lot of changing and so have you but the one i loved is gone and it'd be cruel to mourn

doll i'd cut my arms off for you my legs and head too whatever you wanted whatever you din't want it would be my pleasure to show you my inner workings the precious fabrics of my life pull and prod until you have your fill then sew me back to do it all over again

3/31/22 i live in a world where i don't exist i'm not love and i'm not adored i'm not hated and i'm not scorned i'm halfway through the year this body isn't my own and i'll take you with me

ash to ash smoking is hot in theory i've tried it once, twice in front of you and i always make a fool of myself coughing and choking, charred and you laugh and it makes me long to try again even if it kills me

2/24/23 i have dreams where my limbs are severed from the root and they grow back but the blood's still there

4/13/24 i want to bleed from my nose i'm beautiful that way red dripping down to my lips in hopes that you'll want them you never do, but at least it's still warm