Preface

burned in your memory
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/41879535.

Rating:
Mature
Archive Warning:
No Archive Warnings Apply
Category:
M/M
Fandom:
原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
Relationship:
Diluc/Kaeya (Genshin Impact)
Character:
Diluc (Genshin Impact), Kaeya (Genshin Impact)
Additional Tags:
Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Handcuffed Together, Top Diluc/Bottom Kaeya (Genshin Impact)
Language:
English
Collections:
RelationShipping 2022
Stats:
Published: 2022-10-12 Words: 2,193 Chapters: 1/1

burned in your memory

Summary

In another time, Diluc leaves with Kaeya.

burned in your memory

When Kaeya awoke, he expected the ache in his bones— what happened last night wasn’t lost on him, though there was a part of him that longed for it to be a long, distastefully real nightmare, the sort he was used to as a child. It all felt like a blur, but he knew that when he ran his hands along the scars of their fight, it would come rushing back.

Two things struck him as odd as he lifted a hand to feel at his eye. One, he wasn’t wearing his eyepatch. Two, there was an odd clicking sound as he moved his limb. When he looked over to see what it could be, his breath was caught in his throat. Sitting in a chair next to his bed was Diluc perched like a hawk, eyes wide and intent. In any other situation, he would be a welcome sight, but… dread settled in the pit of his stomach.

“Diluc— What are you—” He swallowed, looking for anything to make sense of all this. Then he saw it. A pair of handcuffs attaching their wrists together. He instinctively pulled against the restraints, and as soon as he did so, a hot pain lit against his wrist. The heat only worsened as he struggled. He bit his lip to keep himself from whimpering. He felt blood ooze down his chin, and at that moment, Diluc tightly grabbed his wrist, pulling it his way to relax the tension in its chains. The pain eased away as the handcuffs glowed a faint orange, the sigil of a pyro vision appearing on each of its clasps.

They stayed like this for what seemed like ages. He had never seen Diluc so pained; his bright eyes no longer bright like the sun. Instead, he was reminded of the rust on their swingset when they had grown far too big for it. The silence hurt more than the burn on his skin.

Diluc tightened his grip. Kaeya winced.

“I’m not letting you out of my sight. Ever again.”


True to Diluc’s word, he and Kaeya were inseparable, which wasn’t much different when they were children, if it weren’t for the fact that they were handcuffed together. Diluc never suggested that the cuffs were to come off, and Kaeya didn’t push for an answer. He wasn’t sure if he was scared of the answer, or if he felt that he didn’t deserve one.

Diluc was insistent they leave as soon as they packed what they needed. Kaeya didn’t need to ask where the two were going. His brother was always so chivalrous, and he loved their father deeply. Kaeya desired to know the truth of their father’s death, too, but Diluc saw it as a duty, while Kaeya felt it a curiosity.

The people of Liyue didn’t pay them any mind. It was obvious they were not familiar with its lands, and either they saw it as a strange foreign custom, did not care, or they had seen more curious sights. Kaeya preferred it this way; with the lack of privacy in his day to day life, he was sick of the attention. The money they brought with them wouldn’t last forever, but, for now, it was enough to hold a room for a few days.

Kaeya was most excited to shower. They had been on the road a few days prior, and the camping life did not suit him. He enjoyed the outdoors, but he had no desire to live in the same room as wild animals. At least Diluc was merciful enough to bring two sleeping bags, though with how close they had to sleep to one another, he might as well have brought only one.

With the inn door closed behind him, he immediately pulled off his shirt. He needed to wear something else. In his haste, he realized that his shirt would need to move past Diluc to be completely off of him. Speaking of Diluc—

“Er. I understand you wish to keep an eye on me, but I can’t possibly escape from—”

“I’m not taking it off,” Diluc muttered, attempting to pull Kaeya’s shirt. Its tightness and extra belts and loops proved too irritating for Diluc to deal with, so he tore it in half, letting the fabric fall to the floor. “We’ll just shower together. It’s more efficient that way.”

“...Diluc, are you kidding me?”

“What? It’s not as if it would be the first time. Do you want to wash yourself or not?”

That wasn’t exactly what he was referring to. And, sure, they had shared baths when they were toddlers. This was incredibly different! Diluc’s tone was enough to keep him from pushing it, though.


It was… an ordeal to pry off their clothes, but, somehow, they managed. Now it was just a matter of fitting two grown men into a shower. Diluc looked at him expectantly, and so Kaeya moved in first, slotting himself closer to the shower walls. Diluc followed him inside. Kaeya turned to have his back facing his brother in an attempt to make it less awkward. It didn’t help. He could still feel Diluc next to him, and if he turned ever so slightly, he could see how… well Diluc filled out as an adult. He took after their father, broad shouldered and built to wield a claymore.

He noted that the wounds from their fight had begun to heal, though scars were sure to develop. He had similar lashes, though the one that left Kaeya the most grief was the one over his eye. It wasn’t his vision that was the issue; it was the jagged blemish that traced over it. He didn’t consider himself a vain man, but he prided himself on caring for his appearance. He recalled once, before he met the Ragnvindrs, his father remarked that his looks could get him far. As a child, he hadn’t understood what he meant, but the older he got, the more he realized how far a wink and a lilted voice could take him.

Kaeya yelped as a sudden burst of hot water splashed against his back. He could have sworn he heard a familiar snicker, too.

“You could have warned me.”

“...Sorry.” Diluc couldn’t sound less sincere if he tried.

The two stood in silence as they passed each other the complimentary soaps the inn offered. Kaeya was having a difficult time maneuvering his soapy washcloth to his back. It ended up slipping from his hand and onto the shower floor. He grumbled and bent over to pick it up.

“Ahem.”

Ah, right. He forgot that he wasn’t alone. He hoped that Diluc hadn’t been looking while he was—

“Do you need help with that?”

…Was this a test of some sort? If he said yes, would Diluc mock him? If he said no, would Diluc use it as proof that Kaeya was always a liar? If he remained silent, would Diluc force it out of him? None of the hypotheticals sounded like Diluc, but he couldn’t be sure. He hummed to himself for a moment and then nodded.

“I do.”

Diluc grunted in response. With a firm hand on his shoulder, Diluc held Kaeya still as he used his own rag to wash away the blood, sweat, and dirt from their journey. It felt… nice. Diluc was strong, and he could feel it in the way his fingertips pressed against the stiffness in his skin. It didn’t hurt, per se, but it was firm enough to make Kaeya realize just how tense he was. And… if he closed his eyes, he could pretend that Diluc was doing this out of love, not obligation.

…Maybe things between them would get better, in time.


“This would be much easier if you allowed me to use both hands, Diluc,” Kaeya insisted, thrusting his sword into the shoulder of a hilichurl. It yelped, then crumbled to the ground.

“Hm.”

How helpful.

The money they had wouldn’t last forever, so at Kaeya’s suggestion, the two began taking up odd jobs to fill their pockets, which usually meant they were to kill troublesome pests. It was funny to see Diluc how to worry about finances with how, admittedly, spoiled both he and Kaeya were as children. Whether Diluc’s resistance to asking the servants of the manor for more funds was out of pride or necessity… Kaeya wasn’t too sure. He knew for certain, however, that Diluc’s stubbornness was to blame for the fact they were still fettered to one another–

Watch it.” Diluc growled, tugging Kaeya behind him by the cuffs. He let flames line the sword of his claymore and brought it down on an approaching hilichurl. He opened his mouth to scold Kaeya further but was interrupted by the cold remnants of a pyro slime spilling onto his shoe.

“I could say the same to you,” Kaeya winked.

“...Your aim could be better,” Diluc huffed, turning away as much as he could.

They continued without a word, weaving through enemies like a pair of ballroom dancers. It wasn’t long until they noticed their elements aligned well, powers melting together like warm honey. Perhaps his vision was more useful than Kaeya thought.


“...Kaeya.”

“Hmm?” He could tell by the rustling on the other side of the bed that Diluc was having a hard time sleeping, even before he spoke. As a boy, Diluc had a habit of restlessness when something was on his mind, and Kaeya supposed that never went away.

“I still don’t… understand.”

“Understand…?”

“Why did you tell me? I mean. Why then?”

Ah.

Kaeya should have expected this, but the idea of broaching the topic still made his blood run cold. He curled further into the blanket. He rehearsed his reply so many times, yet he was finding it difficult to find the words.

“...I didn’t want to keep lying to you.” Kaeya chewed on the inside of his cheek. He crossed his arms over his chest and dug his fingernails into his forearm. “I know I should have told you the moment I arrived, but… I had a mission. From my father.”

Diluc wasn’t saying a word, yet he kept going.

“I hadn’t planned this far ahead. I never expected to get close to you. It would have been easier if I didn’t… didn’t care.” He could feel tears in the corners of his eyes. This was humiliating, but if there was any time to bear his heart, it was now. “But I cared too much, and I hurt you. I wish I had done things differently. I wish I hadn’t loved you. I wish you and Crepus had left me to freeze in the rain. I wis—“

Diluc was on top of him, and Kaeya felt tears that were not his own drip down his face. Despite it all, Kaeya kept a smile on his face. If Diluc was to slay him here, at least he’d have a good sight before he left. He only wished Diluc hadn’t looked at him so pitifully. He closed his eyes and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

It wasn’t a sword against his throat nor flames against his skin that he felt next. Instead, it was a pair of chapped lips upon his own. His eyes flew open, and instinctually, he pushed against Diluc’s shoulder. His brother looked more hurt at the resistance than any of his prior words.

“Diluc, what are you—?!”

“You said you loved me,” Diluc breathed as he brushed Kaeya’s hair away from his neck. “Was it true?”

Kaeya gulped. That he could not deny, though he assumed it was more of a confession before death than a proposal of affection. Not to mention that he assumed Diluc’s feelings for him were no more than brotherly.

Diluc’s smile eased his worries. It always did.

“All this time… I had thought you confessed out of hatred. That you revealing this to me meant the end of… us. Now I realize the truth. The truth was your love,” Diluc continued. The handcuffs slowly faded into ashes, a warm touch lingering in their wake. No longer was he bound to his brother, but Kaeya couldn’t bear the thought of running away, even as the thought of freedom lingered in his mind. It drifted away completely the moment Diluc kissed him again.

They didn’t leave the bed until the next morning; Diluc made sure of that. His hips ached after the first couple rounds, but his brother wasn’t satisfied until he filled Kaeya up to his very core, until Diluc sank his teeth into every inch of Kaeya’s body, until they melted into one, pressed so tight against one another they may as well still be cuffed.


Diluc hadn’t anticipated the handcuffs having a lingering effect on Kaeya. Even without them, Kaeya always stood right next to him. Their shoulders had to touch, or their hands had to be intertwined. It was cute. It was incredibly cute, and Diluc knew for certain if he mentioned it, Kaeya would try to prove him wrong.

So he kept it to himself. They were allowed to have some secrets, at least.

Afterword

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